One thing to the next. Go, go, go. Constantly in movement and slowing down just enough to rinse off in the shower and not slip. I've been feeling like a real busy body lately - or maybe I've been for a long time and have only just found resonance in that word phrasing: "busy body."
Yesterday: 6am yoga. 7-8:30am yoga studio cleaning (cheaper membership perk). 8:30-9:30am coffee, dishes, breakfast. Get ready for work and hop on the bike 9:50am for a 10am-5pm shift at the restaurant. Call dad for his birthday on the bike ride to work. 5pm bike down to the beach from work, try to be extra slow and enjoy my dinner sitting on the sand -- bikes locked up, but I keep checking over my shoulder to make sure she's still there. Watching dogs and dog owners along dog beach. On the bike, sometimes listening to music and at times an audio book: current book choice, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. Illuminating and rich with information. Arrive back home around 7:10pm. 7:10-7:20pm chat with my roommate and do a few dishes and eat dried fruit for "dessert." Go upstairs to "slowly" get ready for coed soccer game that's at 8pm. Head downstairs, pop a little stove popcorn and have for drive (another busy-body move... over-eating. Really working on this concept of only eating when I'm hungry). Arrive at soccer 7:55pm, kick-off around 8:10pm. Score a goal, have a blast, banter with teammates. Tempted to stay and guest-play with the next team who needs another play.... it's 9:05pm... decide to head home. Finish creating Instagram post that I was intermittently working on throughout the day. 10:15pm -- damn, it's late for me. Okay, decide to sleep in tomorrow (always aiming for 8 hours of sleep).
Today: Woke up at 6:45am having slept decently well, with some tossing and turning. Make coffee, go for short walk. And so begins the next. I often will wake up at 5:15am to make a 6am yoga class, but if it is at the expense of my sleep... Nope, I'll have to try again the next morning. Insert opportunity for self-criticism or disappointment. Override with a self-loving, positive affirmation: I am consistent. I am healthy. I am doing the best I can. I am happy to have the opportunity to drink coffee and write this morning.
Throughout all of this, I find many smiling faces, laughter where I can, and moments of stillness. I have found that one of my absolute favorite things in life is the sparkle in the eye of a friend or stranger as they smile back. It feels like a spark of loving human connection and I welcome it at every corner of my life. There is vulnerability in showing joy, it seems. There is opportunity to be seen when we smile openly and broadly. So, let me go first. I love to smile openly (sometimes it feels more raw and vulnerable than other times) and invite the other to do the same.
Smiling is a perfect example of the way our mirror neurons fire when we see someone smiling at us. It's how we can quite literally pass on the "good vibes." One smile leads to another, and so on.
My roommate calls me "unstoppable." I call me a doer busy-body. I'm trying to slowwww down (and not use drinking or jiving as a means to do so comfortably). I do feel mostly present and aware throughout my days and the busyness of my life, which is maybe why I've continued to build my life as such. I feel that slowing down and allowing more potential "negative" emotion and discomfort to creep its way up is necessary. I think my therapist would agree. I know there's habits I want to change and shifts I need to make in order to continue creating more space for positive change, and the slow down may just be the ticket.
Ironically, I've began building my business around this fact: Movement is medicine. As I know this to be true, it has been an easy thing to capture and talk about. There are many sedentary people out there that could really benefit from more movement. There are also many busy-bodies out there, like me, that could benefit from continuing intentional movement AND slowing down to create more space for nothingness, stillness, and peaceful non-movement.
Life is balance, and that balance looks different from/for person to person. So release comparison and just be in your own body. When you're in your own body and mind and heart, you can spend more energy feeling into alignment with yourself. Better sleep, better relationships, better health, better life. This is what I tell myself, anyway.
With love,
Brooklynne on a bike
(on my balcony, with my coffee)
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